Squiggler

V.P. accidentally shoots friend while hunting

First, we are happy to report that the shooting victim is reported to be doing fine, sitting up and smiling. Fortunately the birdshot caused only lacerations and bruises.

But, second ...

we have to state the obvious ... the comics and cartoonists are going to have a field day with this one. Late night comedy fare for days ...

Cartoon courtesy Cox and Forkum

Joke for the Day

Hat Tip: Barking Moonbat Early Warning System (BMEWS)

A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender. The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him, “What’s your IQ?” The man replies “150” and the robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry, environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nano-technology, and sexual proclivities.

The customer is very impressed and thinks, “This is really cool.” He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him, “What’s your IQ?” The man responds, “about a 100.” Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football, NASCAR, baseball, cars, beer, guns, and breasts.

Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot one more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and asks, “What’s your IQ?” The man replies, “Er, 10, I think.”

And the robot says real slowly ... “So ............... ya ...  gonna ... vote ... for ... Kerry ... again???”

_________________________

An aside for one whose own IQ is much closer to 150 than 100 ... in a bar, I go with Door #2 ...

Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football, NASCAR, baseball, cars, beer, guns, and breasts men's sexy butts

Brokeback to the Future

Why do I think there will be more reaction to this clever piece of video than we saw about the offensive cartoon of the quad amputee soldier that appeared in the newspaper of the nation's capital? While that cartoon made me wretch, this "trailer" had me laughing out loud.

H/T: Althouse via Sullivan and YouTube

Laugh for the Day or why the terrorist Islamofacists are mad at the Danes

Hat tip: Malkin, click HERE for more Danish cartoons

Laugh for the Day

This one is self-explanatory. Have a good one.

Karaoke Performance Caught On Tape

MIAMI -- Former Attorney General Janet Reno got up and sang Aretha Franklin's "Respect" at a Miami fundraiser Thursday night.

[Video here]

AND 2nd Place goes to none other than Mother Moonbat:

"Cindy Sheehan to Dianne Feinstein: Fillibuster [sic] Alito or I’ll Challenge Your Senate Seat."

Laugh for the Day

Today's quote comes courtesy of Glenn Reynolds himself ... from an entry on his popular Instapundit blog. My reaction was "Whoa!" as I tried to catch my breath from laughing so hard.

January 24, 2006

IF KANYE WEST HAD BALLS, he'd pose as Mohammed, instead of Jesus. But he doesn't. Efforts to be controversial have become so predictable. Yawn.

And a rare 2nd Place to Michelle Malkin

What will Google's search engine logo look like tomorrow? Here's my suggestion:

Rome Bans Goldfish Bowls

Rome bans goldfish bowls

Rome has banned goldfish bowls, which animal rights activists say are cruel, and has made regular dog-walks mandatory in the Italian capital, the town's council said.

Methinks the lawmakers in Rome have way too much time on their hands.

More jokes while it is still too hot to think

Subject: Republicans and Democrats

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans
and Southern Republicans?

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small
children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around
the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah,
raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock cal .40,
and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do?



Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor! Or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my wife think?

What about the kids?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of
his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does
this send to society and to my children

Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound
me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while
he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this happier,
healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some  friends for
few days and try to come to a consensus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Southern Republican's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click.....(sounds of reloading).

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips
or Hollow Points

                                         ************************************************

Women vs. Men Friends

Friendship among Women:

A woman doesn't come home at night. The next day she tells her husband

she slept over at a friend's house. The man calls his wife's 10 best

friends. None of them know anything about it.

Friendship among Men:

A man doesn't come home at night. The next day he tells his wife he slept

over at a friend's house. The woman calls her husband's 10 best

friends.  8 of them say he did sleep over and 2 claim he's still there.

Too hot to care about anything

This heat has fried my brain and the brains of every TV commentator (my humble opinion). All day today .... should Martha Stewart go back to jail for being out on her grounds on her $10,000 cart ... does anyone give a damn. Shouldn't we be more worried about those trying to blow us up than about Martha?

Then there is Roberts and the Supreme Court nomination and the Senate ... what's up with the media trashing his wife and kids and calling them Easter Eggs and clothed like rejects from the fifties?

So, instead, here is a little laugh I got in an email that I thought I'd pass on:

Men are like....

1. Men are like ........Laxatives ...... They irritate the shit out of you.
2. Men are like ...... .Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like ........ Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .......Blenders ..... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like ......Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, &they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like ....Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like . Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ........ Government Bonds ...... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ......Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like .......Popcorn .....  They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like .... Snowstorms ...... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ........ Lava Lamps .... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like .Parking Spots ........ All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped