There is a lot of screeching going on among the resident legal "experts" in the media over charges being dropped against Debra Lafave. She of the sexy pictures and the charge that she is some kind of sex predator. I think there is a big point being missed here. We keep hearing about these boys as little children that need to be protected from these terrible predators like 25 year old Debra. Give me a break. These "boys" are no innocents here and, in fact, I posit that the prime reason the complainant won't testify has nothing to do with being a victim. I'm sure the prosecutors are also well aware that it is hard to convince a jury that some big strapping guy, fully mature, is a child-like victim. These were hormone driven teenage young men, not pre-pubescent children. These were guys who thought that getting someone who looks like Debra to "teach" them the ropes was their dream come true. It was Mama who objected, not the guy.
I don't excuse child molestation. In fact, if you read my extended profile, you will see what I think should be done to child abusers. But, to call this child abuse makes a mockery of the term. Do I understand why anyone would want to hang out with teenage boys, no I don't personally, but when I was twenty-five, it was not uncommon to be in a group that included teenagers as well as early twenty-somethings. I spent Summers at our cottage with a large extended family of cousins there every Summer with me. We ranged in age within about a 10 year span and when you included in the various friends that were there too, it wasn't unusual to be hanging out with lots of people with several years difference in age. I remember having such a crush on my older cousin's college roommate when I was 13. He was probably around 21 or 22 at the time. I lived for even the slighest acknowledgement of my existence from him. When I was sixteen, my boyfriend was nineteen. In today's world, he would be in trouble, but in our world, no one was considered an adult until twenty-one, so there was no problem with this fine line of being a minor. Everyone was still a minor until about the time they were ready to graduate from college. Now we give 10 year prison sentences to 18 year olds who have sex with their 16 or 17 year old girlfriends. Ridiculous waste of tax payer resources not to mention effectively ruining someone's life.
The bottom line here is that to say Debra Lafave is getting off from her crime is bogus too. She has suffered the loss of her marriage (no great loss from what I've seen of the jerk she was married to) and the loss of her reputation and her ability to work in her chosen field. These are punishments of a much more significant value than sitting in jail would be. Most of us conform becaue we want to avoid public embarrassment much more than we consider potential jail sentences. Unless you are a flat out sociopath or psychopath, you care what others think and you know you are judged by the company you keep. Knowing this keeps most of us on the straight and narrow most of the time. We'd probably all be shocked to know what really goes on behind closed doors of the most outstanding leaders.
Do I have a double standard when it comes to older women with younger men? Yes I do. I do for one reason ... I do not believe that an older woman can forcibly rape a young man. She may be able to seduce him and that may not be a good thing, but it is highly unlikely that she can forcibly rape the guy. Men, on the other hand, can force themselves on women whether they are older or younger than she is. Even if a woman was strong enough to overpower a fully mature underage male, there is little she can accomplish with him unless he is a willing participant. Not so when the situation is reversed.
Three years ago, I had a whole household full of 14, 15, and 16 year olds. I was the temporary guardian for one of them, who was 6'1" and 180 lbs. by the time he was 15. And strong. These young men were all football players and they'd hang out here because I had a full weight set and workout area in the garage. I can tell you that there were times when it would make me nervous to be in the house alone with all of them, just because I knew that if they decided to come after me, I would not be able to defend myself. They all treated me with the greatest of respect, but when the girl friends showed up, I had to stay very vigilant and make sure bedroom and hobby room doors stayed open. They were typical teenagers looking for an easy make out spot. And they did what we all did as teenagers as soon as someone in the group got his driver's license ... they moved to the back seats of cars. Gee just like Debra's poor "victim." Of course, nowdays they rent hotel suites and limos to travel around in all night. I'm glad the charges were dropped against her.
I don't excuse child molestation. In fact, if you read my extended profile, you will see what I think should be done to child abusers. But, to call this child abuse makes a mockery of the term. Do I understand why anyone would want to hang out with teenage boys, no I don't personally, but when I was twenty-five, it was not uncommon to be in a group that included teenagers as well as early twenty-somethings. I spent Summers at our cottage with a large extended family of cousins there every Summer with me. We ranged in age within about a 10 year span and when you included in the various friends that were there too, it wasn't unusual to be hanging out with lots of people with several years difference in age. I remember having such a crush on my older cousin's college roommate when I was 13. He was probably around 21 or 22 at the time. I lived for even the slighest acknowledgement of my existence from him. When I was sixteen, my boyfriend was nineteen. In today's world, he would be in trouble, but in our world, no one was considered an adult until twenty-one, so there was no problem with this fine line of being a minor. Everyone was still a minor until about the time they were ready to graduate from college. Now we give 10 year prison sentences to 18 year olds who have sex with their 16 or 17 year old girlfriends. Ridiculous waste of tax payer resources not to mention effectively ruining someone's life.
The bottom line here is that to say Debra Lafave is getting off from her crime is bogus too. She has suffered the loss of her marriage (no great loss from what I've seen of the jerk she was married to) and the loss of her reputation and her ability to work in her chosen field. These are punishments of a much more significant value than sitting in jail would be. Most of us conform becaue we want to avoid public embarrassment much more than we consider potential jail sentences. Unless you are a flat out sociopath or psychopath, you care what others think and you know you are judged by the company you keep. Knowing this keeps most of us on the straight and narrow most of the time. We'd probably all be shocked to know what really goes on behind closed doors of the most outstanding leaders.
Do I have a double standard when it comes to older women with younger men? Yes I do. I do for one reason ... I do not believe that an older woman can forcibly rape a young man. She may be able to seduce him and that may not be a good thing, but it is highly unlikely that she can forcibly rape the guy. Men, on the other hand, can force themselves on women whether they are older or younger than she is. Even if a woman was strong enough to overpower a fully mature underage male, there is little she can accomplish with him unless he is a willing participant. Not so when the situation is reversed.
Three years ago, I had a whole household full of 14, 15, and 16 year olds. I was the temporary guardian for one of them, who was 6'1" and 180 lbs. by the time he was 15. And strong. These young men were all football players and they'd hang out here because I had a full weight set and workout area in the garage. I can tell you that there were times when it would make me nervous to be in the house alone with all of them, just because I knew that if they decided to come after me, I would not be able to defend myself. They all treated me with the greatest of respect, but when the girl friends showed up, I had to stay very vigilant and make sure bedroom and hobby room doors stayed open. They were typical teenagers looking for an easy make out spot. And they did what we all did as teenagers as soon as someone in the group got his driver's license ... they moved to the back seats of cars. Gee just like Debra's poor "victim." Of course, nowdays they rent hotel suites and limos to travel around in all night. I'm glad the charges were dropped against her.
Some sex charges dropped against teacherOCALA, Fla., March 21 (UPI) --
Despite a judge's objection, Marion County, Fla., prosecutors Tuesday dropped charges against a teacher accused of having sex with a 14-year-old student.
The deal will protect the suburban Tampa middle school boy from having to testify against Debra Lafave, 25, of Riverview, Fla., CBS News reported. Psychiatrists described the teen as extremely anxious about media coverage.
Marion County Judge Hale Stancil rejected a plea agreement by Hillsborough County, Fla., calling for three years of home confinement and seven years probation for Lafave.
Stancil said the deal "shocks the conscience of this court."
However, prosecutor Richard Ridgway said he was unwilling to risk the well-being of the victim.
During a news conference after the Marion County charges were dropped, Lafave blamed her bipolar condition for the 2004 sex acts, CBS reported.
"I'm going to be in therapy for a long time. Hopefully for the rest of my life," the former teacher said.
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